|Get the Facts!
||[Apr. 19th, 2009|02:01 pm]
SCENE. A subarban kitchen. Two teenage brothers, BILLY and BOBBY enter the kitchen after a game of soccer outside. BILLY is carrying a soccer ball. BOBBY is opening the fridge door.
BILLY: Man, that was quite a soccer match. I'm so thirsty I could drink a horse!Logo for CORN-BASED ETHANOL ENERGY AND VITAMIN TONIC flashes on the screen, as well as a website. Happy, folksy acoustic guitar plays.
BOBBY (Reaching into the fridge and grabbing a couple cans of CORN-BASED ETHANOL ENERGY AND VITAMIN TONICS. BOBBY tosses one to BILLY who catches it): Here, have some energy tonic!
BILLY (With a skeptical look on his face): He-e-e-e-y... isn't this made with ethanol? I thought you cared about being healthy enough to play soccer.
BOBBY (Smugly): What are you talking about?
BILLY (Like an annoying know-it-all): Well, you know what they say about corn-based ethanol, right?
BOBBY: No, what?
BILLY (Stammering): Uh. Well. Uh. DURRRRRR! DURRRRRRRRRR! DOIDY DOIDY DURRRRRR!
BOBBY: Relax! It's just corn!
BILLY (Relieved from the stress of attempting to cite a single fact, pops open his can of CORN-BASED ETHANOL ENERGY AND VITAMIN TONIC and takes a swig): Aaahhhh. Not bad!
BOBBY: And I thought you were supposed to be the smart one, big brother!
BILLY: Aw you, get over here you little fart! (BILLY grabs BOBBY and gives him noogies!)
NARRATOR: Before you panic, get the facts! CORN-BASED ETHANOL ENERGY AND VITAMIN TONIC is made with corn.-- Schwa ---
BILLY (vomiting): OH GOD IT BURNS!