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Schwa Love

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Virgin Butterfly Wings [Feb. 26th, 2011|03:04 pm]
Schwa Love
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[Current Location |San Francisco]
[Like omigod I feel so |hungover]

When time travel comes about, it's not going to be noble trips in time to stop Kennedy's assassination, or killing dinosaurs for fun, or finding out who's life your hologram buddy is there to help you fix. When time travel comes about, it will be developed by a company with massive resources, wanting to turn a profit. And time travel will become a tourist industry.

"Oh my gosh, your pilgrim outfits are perfect! I mean, there's no buckles, but still. Oh they are just adorable!"

"Really, game hens for Thanksgiving? Oh you don't call it that yet? Oh ho ho! Oh you will!"

"Look, I'll trade you my iPod for those shoes. Took you that long to make them? Yeah, but this has Jay-Z. It'll blow your mind, man! Am I freaking you out?"

"Your food is so organic. You don't know how lucky you have it!"

And previous generations will be irritated and continue to live as they do, in pre-industrial fashion under constant threat of roaming marauders, dying because of toothaches that got out of hand, and coping with a 25% infant mortality rate. And the world over, various stone architecture will be engraved with the words, "Time Travellers, Stay Thee Away From Our Era! Thou Art Not Welcome!" They will have somehow just always been there, written in perfect English, even by cultures that existed before the language did.

Time travelers… what a bunch of assholes.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: urbeatle
2011-02-27 03:45 am (UTC)
I figure Time Smuggling will be a bigger money-maker.
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[User Picture]From: infrogmation
2011-02-27 06:12 pm (UTC)

Re: what a phenomenally stupid invention

Good one! "I want to find out if Thai restaurants really do exist in nature."

I imagine time-traveling foodies.

"You have NOT had Mongolian BBQ prepared to its proper potential if you haven't had it at the court of the Great Khan while the elder Wu-Yi was chief chef!"

"I find most royal banquets highly over rated. I mean, François Vatel's at Versailles were good, yes, but the wine pairings were just so disappointingly haphazard."


"Man, I found this place in early 5th century Teotihuacan -- the duck tacos are to die for! In fact, they were given as the last meal to the most select of the holy human sacrifices!"

"I never really understood why people saw fit to migrate into Siberia with nothing but stone-age technology until I had woolly mammoth steak! Fresh slaughtered and roasted over a dung fire-- Mmm, I wouldn't trade it for all the trilobite soup in Pangaea."
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: schwa242
2011-02-27 06:28 pm (UTC)

Re: what a phenomenally stupid invention

Nice.
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